I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize