You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
