I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
