Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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