I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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