What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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