Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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