HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
