KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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