real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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