Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
