But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize