I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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