my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
