another moral hangover. fuck.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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