I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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