It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
