i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
