I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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