How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize