Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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