my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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