there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
