so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
