i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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