That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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