do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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