I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
