Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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