I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is wine microwaveable?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
