I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
