worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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