Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
