Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
