bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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