imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
