Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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