You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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