but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
