Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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