you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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