I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
