forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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