I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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