Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
