Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
