I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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