Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
