Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
