You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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