There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
