When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
