Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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