it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm passing your future prison.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
