Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
