I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
