how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
