y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
