he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize