He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
