Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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