someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
