I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
