btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
