Who did Billy Mays play for?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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