I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
