dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
