her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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